it's so rude to be younger than I am
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) February 5, 2020
blueberries are God’s skittles
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) May 23, 2020
Adulthood is all about giving up on your dreams and taking up hobbies. ✨ 💫
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) December 10, 2020
Wind pisses me off
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) October 3, 2018
How does the ibuprofen know where to go
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) October 18, 2020
aging is having seen 3/4ths of every movie due to sleeping
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) February 19, 2020
remember when we used to
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) August 29, 2020
had a devastating Reply All moment yesterday. Please respect my privacy at this time.
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) November 19, 2019
just saw a rat in LA. Hm. Didn’t know they were here.
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) February 20, 2020
Why are there 15x more birthdays during quarantine than in normal life
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) April 26, 2020
every now and then I take off a pair of underwear and just throw them in the trash for life maintenance
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) February 28, 2019
when my creative director says "good job" pic.twitter.com/93rgnagkrF
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) May 10, 2020
Am I 40 yet
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) August 13, 2020
unfortunately I can now tell the Oppenheim twins apart
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) August 27, 2020
it's so aggro to text a solo question mark to someone
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) September 9, 2020
why is money so expensive
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) August 23, 2018
I wish I could get the Sex and the City theme song somehow tattooed on my body
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) August 4, 2016
at my first cookout in LA and secretly scared everything has weed in it
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) May 28, 2019
weekend plans: get rid of zit. Go to Costco. Can’t be bothered for anything else thanks.
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) July 20, 2018
sorry boss but I need to take a quick break to watch Jim Carey's painting documentary on vimeo
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) August 9, 2017
when the group text is popping off but you have side threads going with every group member too pic.twitter.com/S107ehVtIk
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) June 28, 2017
wtf was the tooth fairy doing with all those teeth? She freeky
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) September 9, 2020
You think you’ve heard it all....and then another man speaks
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) December 15, 2020
if breakfast was really the most important meal of the day then I truly would have died 20 years ago
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) June 19, 2019
Read a book and don’t tell anyone about it
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) October 26, 2020
wish my trash guys would've just taken me with them this morning
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) December 12, 2019
Haven't been on the Twit in a while and forgot how much I love this internet swamp
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) August 11, 2020
white pants can summon a woman’s period
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) December 12, 2018
not to knock our mental health journeys but I miss when everyone on instagram DIDN'T think they were the holistic psychologist
— goo goo ga ga (@lulustevie) August 18, 2020
i'm gonna have an Amy Sherman-Palladino themed wedding
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) September 24, 2018
just wish my mom's email address was mom@mom.com
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) May 23, 2019
why are full-grown adults also fragile infant newborn babies
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) April 11, 2019
RT if your mom still calls CVS "Eckerds"
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) November 12, 2016
mixing my collagen into my Chardonnay
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) June 6, 2019
You know what. I’m cool and nice. There I said it!!!!!
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) March 21, 2019
dangit I got 420 followers nobody move
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) June 27, 2018
wearing the ugliest outfit today
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) December 1, 2017
i sprained my wrist putting in my NuvaRing
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) November 28, 2018
wow U can feel ur pulse in ur belly button
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) May 28, 2016
too smart for god stuff
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) August 23, 2018
client (after 30 minute presentation): "I LOVE the page numbers."
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) January 5, 2017
when a client tells u something is “too cinematic” pic.twitter.com/WYqtxRHwA5
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) March 8, 2018
my neighbor's pet pig just freakin bit me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— cutie patootie (@lulustevie) November 15, 2017